16 August 2012

Curse of the Keyboard

Test Transcript #1

Dangerous though it may be, I now type upon the Cursed Keyboard. A live and public test of this artifact seems the only way to put to rest the legends of its corrupting powers over human linguistic functioning when connected to the Internet. For want of minimal exposure to any possible damage, we have devised a 30-day experiment which should satisfy for both rigor and safety. Transcripts will be selected after testing which highlight any key developments.

Let this first entry serve as baseline.

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Test Transcript #2

Hello to all teh folks out there watching. As you can see, the MRI & EEG readings still show normal activity. Though I have experienced some misspellings, we cannot as yet ascribe these to the mythical “corruption” of the keyboard as much as we might an accidental slip of the fingers. As far as effects go, so far I have also noticed a slight increase in irritability, but little moar. lol

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Test Transcript #3

OK, we're startin 2 see stuff on teh MRI and EEG, specificly in Wernicke and Broca's areas. Soem people rite 2 me sayin it's messed up. ffs omfg wtf that's just their opinion! i tpye totes fine, i mean cant u read ppl!?


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Test Transcript #4

omg srsly cognitiv malfunction? moar liek teh 2 epicness of ym brian. u jelly!or there all stupid.ima kep doin it ya u dont no wtf ppl y u no raed me? y u no liek n subscrib? follo teh reserch 4 kittehs ppl!

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Test Transcript #5

avpne'vje dbrh[bhjewom m ;ribuwehvonpv m;ls hiev8ihwvcnpw; ' ; neb9ehv89ejfvpevl; el hj vyu f67ef

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[Experimenters' note: After one viewer brought the fifth transcript to the attention of the research team involved, the full month-long test has been canceled in favor of maintaining the health and safety of Subject A.  Subject A has since been provided with opportunities for rehabilitation, but the overall prognosis is uncertain at best.  The team expresses sincere condolences to the family of Subject A, but stands firmly by the waiver signed by all subjects and Subject A's typed statement of “#yolo.”]

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